2 Hot Zone Fun Stuff

This kid walks into the pharmacy: "I've a hot date tonight, a sure thing, and my buddies said you could fix me up for it."

"What do you want?"
"Well, it's a hot date, man. A sure thing? You know..."
"What do you want?"
"I need some protection, alright??!?!"
"What size?"
"Size? I dunno... Whatever is considered average I guess."
"That'll be $2.35 including tax."
"Tacks?! Tacks?! I thought they stayed on by themselves!"